Jewish Magazine Joke and Humor Page

            January 2014    
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Before marriage, After marriage

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.

After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.

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Hi Sweetie!

The manager of a large office asked a new employee to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked.

"John," the new guy replied.

The manager scowled. "Look, I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone by their first name! It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority," he said. "I refer to my employees by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"

The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is John Darling."

The manager said, "Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you..."

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Please Help My Wife!

A wild-eyed man dressed in a Napoleonic costume and hiding his right hand inside his coat entered the psychiatrist? office and nervously exclaimed, "Doctor, I need your help right away."

"I can see that," retorted the doctor. "Lie down on that couch and tell me your problem."

"I don't have any problem," the man snapped. "In fact, as Emperor of France I have everything I could possibly want: money, women, power -- everything! But I'm afraid my wife, Josephine, is in deep mental trouble."

"I see," said the psychiatrist, humoring his distraught patient. "And what seems to be her main problem?"

"For some strange reason," answered the unhappy man, "she thinks she's Mrs. Schwartz."

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from the January 2014 Edition of the Jewish Magazine

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