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Abe was making out his Chanukah list...

"Honey," he says to his wife, "How do you spell DVD?"

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One December, when I was assistant manager of a children's bookstore, we set up a special rack of small holiday books.

Looking at a few of the Chanukah books on display, a customer remarked to the counter clerk how well priced they were.

"Yes," the clerk agreed. "And they make great stocking stuffers too!"

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Question: 'What is it that Jews do on each of the eight nights of Hanukkah?'

Answer:

1st night - argue over which side of the menorah do we light the candles

2nd night - cut knuckle whicle grating potato for latkes

3rd night - lose dreidel under fridge

4th night - spend hour getting wax out of menorah holes

5th night - lose track of which night you're on

6th night - get latke grease on good shirt

7th night - fish chocolate coin out of dog's mouth

8th night - be short one candle, and muddle what to do...

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"If I live, I'll see you Monday, if not, Tuesday."

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The rest of the holidays can't hold a candle to Chanukah.

If everyone could properly pronounce the throat clearing sound of the first syallable in Chanukah, coughdrops would be a thing of the past?

How do you properly spell Chanukah? Let me count the ways...Channukah, Hannukah, Chanukah, etc.

Is it true that in Israel the washing machines say "Dreidel cycle" instead of "spin?"

Why did the mother stop her daughter from playing dreidel?
She was afraid that landing on the nun (one of the 4 letters pronounced almost like "noon") might be "habit forming."

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