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Jewish Ethnic Foods
By Sid Kliener
Latkes:
A pancake-like structure not to be confused with anything the
House of Pancakes would put out. In a Latka, the oil is in the
pancake. It is made with potatoes, onions, eggs and matzo meal.
Latkas can be eaten with applesauce but NEVER with maple syrup.
There is a rumor that in the time of the Maccabees they lit a
Latka by mistake and it burned for eight days. What is certain is
you will have heartburn for the same amount of time.
Matzos:
The Egyptians' revenge for leaving slavery. It consists of a
simple mix of flour and water - no eggs or flavor at all. When
made well, it could actually taste like cardboard. Its redeeming
value is that it does fill you up and stays with you for a long
time. However, it is recommended that you eat a few prunes soon
after.
Kasha Varnishka:
This is one of the little-known delicacies, which is even more
difficult to pronounce than to cook. It has nothing to do with
varnish, but is basically a mixture of buckwheat and bow tie
macaroni (noodles). Why a bow tie? Many sages discussed this and
agreed that some Jewish mother decided that, "You can't come to
the table without a tie'' or, 'Heaven forbid,' an elbow on my
table?"
Kishka:
You know from Haggis? Well, this ain't it. In the old days they
would take an intestine and stuff it. Today we use parchment
paper or plastic. And what do you stuff it with? Carrots,
celery, onions, flour, and spices. But the trick is not to cook
it alone but to add it to the cholent (see below), and let it
cook for 24 hours until there is no chance whatsoever that there
is any nutritional value left.
Kreplach:
It sounds worse than it tastes. There is a rabbinical debate on
its origins: One Rabbi claims it began when a fortune cookie fell
into his chicken soup. The other claims it started in an Italian
restaurant. Either way it can be soft, hard, or soggy and the
amount of meat inside depends on whether it is your mother or
your mother-in-law who cooked it.
Cholent:
This combination of noxious gases had been the secret
weapon of Jews for centuries. The unique combination of
beans, barley, potatoes, and bones or meat is meant to
stick to your ribs and anything else it comes into contact
with. At a fancy Mexican restaurant (kosher, of course) I
once heard this comment from a youngster who had just
had his first taste of Mexican fried beans: ''What! Do they
serve leftover cholent here too?" My wife once tried something
unusual for guests: She made cholent burgers for Sunday night
supper. The guests never came back.
Gefilte Fish:
A few years ago, I had problems with my filter in my fishpond and
a few of them got rather stuck and mangled. My son (5 years old)
looked at them and commented ''Is that why we call it 'Ge
Filtered Fish'?'' Originally, it was a carp stuffed with a
minced fish and vegetable mixture. Today it usually comprises of
small fish balls eaten with horseradish (''chrain'') which is
judged on its relative strength in bringing tears to your eye at
100 paces.
Bagels:
How can we finish without the quintessential Jewish Food, the
bagel? Like most foods, there are legends surrounding the bagel
although I don't know any. There have been persistent rumors that
the inventors of the bagel were the Norwegians who couldn't get
anyone to buy smoked lox. Think about it: Can you picture
yourself eating lox on white bread? Rye? A cracker? Naaa. They
looked for something hard and almost indigestible which could
take the spread of cream cheese and which doesn't take up too
much room on the plate. And why the hole? The truth is that many
philosophers believe the hole is the essence and the dough is
only there for emphasis.
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from theJanuary1999Edition of the Jewish Magazine
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